Yes it is, BUT with a HUGE condition attached!
Unconditional love is often talked about and espoused as a desirable state or Value. The majority who preach such a state have never experienced it and never will. For most it is an idealised dream, designed to give them hope.
And that single condition makes “unconditional love” almost impossible in our so called modern world.
So, what is this mysterious CONDITION that makes unconditional love so difficult. Well, if you have been following my work on relationships you will know that the three essential building blocks that underpin and relationship are RESPECT, TRUST and TOLERANCE. It is this last of the triad that bites us the most.
Tolerance does not come in infinite quantities. It is limited to the extent of our programmed Values system. Each time someone does something that presses buttons in our unconscious programs, it dissolves a little of our tolerance for the situation we are in. So if a supposed loving relationship is attacked by these little, almost unnoticeable conflicts with our Values, a little more tolerance drains from the finite pool. Once the level of tolerance is depleted, the relationship is over.
No doubt you have experienced exactly this.
If we are lucky enough to find someone with a high level of matching Values the tolerance pool takes a long time to deplete. But if we start a relationship of any kind where the level of matching Values is low, it takes a huge pool of tolerance to cope with the never ending onslaught. If tolerance to another’s behaviours (driven by unconscious Values) is low, then the relationship comes to s screaming halt very quickly.
Now, here is the rub.
In our “modern” society we are programmed with Values that tend to be self-serving as a species. That self-serving nature is mostly driven by a need to feel better about ourselves, which sometimes drives us to getting involved with individuals or groups that share the same self-serving Values. And no matter what disaster that creates we repeat the same behaviours over and over again. Tolerance pool is depleted quicker and quicker until we have problem’s supporting any relationship of consequence, let alone one where unconditional love is the ideal. Currently the average new relationship lasts less than two and half years, regardless of type – personal, friendships, or business.
So, unconditional love is possible but with ever decreasing pools of the vital ingredient, TOLERANCE, the dream is drifting further and further away. Without a pool of tolerance that is compatible with the level of matching Values in any relationship, unconditional love is not possible.
What do you think? Please leave your comments below. (Keep it nice!)